I will entitle this post OWN YOUR GLOW because that is exactly what I am learning to do more and more everyday. Accepting myself for who I am is not so much a struggle but it's a daily conscious effort. It is so easy to compare myself to other people my age, to even the person other people expected me to be, or even compare myself to who I think I should have been by now. But I understand that my accomplishments or skills don't define who I am but they're just a by-product of who I am. In coming into acceptance of who I really am, I had to research God's version of me. It occurred to me just today that all of who I am is the Great I AM in me, so all that I am is of God and what He says I am.
Hopefully all the I am's didn't confuse you but pretty much I'm God-breathed - and birthed into existence so everything that flows out of me is just an extension of Him. It is so vital to come to terms with yourself and not the self that people are trying to create you to be. I don't care if everyone in your family is an academic scholar, or if everyone is taking a certain path. What God has called you to do and be is not based on what everybody else is doing.
Sometimes I felt like the black sheep because I was the only artistic one and I was the only free-spirited dreamer that wanted to dress up for runways and take pictures. To most, that can seem like it's so vain and superficial but they never understood that this was God's way of communicating with and through me. See, I believe God communicates with us in different ways. (He just will not communicate with me through music because Lord knows he did not give me a voice sounding as the beautiful birds.) He probably won't communicate with me through numbers either, that's just not how He wired me. He wired me through an interpretation of colors and prints, lines and designs, body shapes and styles. Therefore, this is what I have to embrace and use to communicate with Him and with others. It's as if trying to speak French to someone who speaks Spanish- there's just no communication there! Understanding the language that God has created me to speak made me aware of who I am and made me secure in what He wanted me to do even if I was doing it alone or without the approval and support of others.
Styled by Miss Phee
For some time, (and even now honestly) I still have moments where I am afraid to own my glow. I would sometimes hide or stifle my full glory because I think that maybe if I post a video of me dancing, which I love to do, or doing poetry or a video talking on a topic then people might perceive me as 'doing too much' or fake or trying to tap into an arena that's not mine. When in actuality these are interests and talents of mine but because of what other people may think, I dim the glow. So that's why I said earlier it is an everyday commitment to own my glow.
Styled by Miss Phee
But I have come a long way because now I don't apologize for what I'm doing. If you don't understand my mission that is okay. I am so burdened with it that I know it has to be from God and as long as it's God-approved, I don't need anybody's approval. Things and people that mattered in the past that I allowed to hinder me from owning my glow, I realized they don't matter right now. So for that reason the people right now who “threaten” my glow I just have to think in the future they too will not matter. So I quickly get over this fleeting fear or need to conform and just
DO ME BOO!
Miss Phee Styling her client
But wait, then I'm now mistaken for being stubborn and maybe too confident! But hey, as long as I'm pursuing alignment with my Creator, I learned I cannot be worried about anybody else or their mama. Suffocating my true self has been so daunting. Now I know that in the pursuit of purpose and living the Abundant Life, I have no choice but to shine and own my glow - which is accepting ALL of myself for who the I AM says I am.
Hopefully this encouraged you to negate the naysayers and silence the stereotype. My heart for you is to be aligned with our Creator, seek validation from Him alone and perform for your Audience of One. I do not care if all your siblings are lawyers, doctors, Indian chiefs. If God has called you to fry chicken for homeless people - you better fry the mess outta those chicken okay! And I don't care what physical flaw you have that you're letting govern your life. If one leg is longer than the other honey, you betta walk with a fly limp! OKAY!!
Love, Light & Abundant Life,
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IG : @missphee31 // @ourdailyT
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Want to know more about Miss Phee? Read her bio below!
My name is Raquel Meraki and I'm a young woman who is on the journey of self discovery and independence.