I was talking to a friend of mine a few weeks ago and she was sharing with me some lessons she learned. One of the them being; learning to express her feelings to anyone that offends her. It sounds like an easy thing to do but, if you’re anything like me and my friend; we tend to stifle our feelings just to keep peace. We stifle and we suppress until we express it in the most unhealthy ways that tends to hurt people close to us and give others a wrong perception of who we are. I remember last year having to talk to an old friend that hurt my feelings and it was so nerve wrecking for me. I literally hate having those type of conversations but I knew that I did not want to walk around with the weight of words I’ll never get to express. When the conversation was finally held and over, I wasn’t happy with the end result. However, reflecting and thinking about it every now and again, I’m happy that it happened. You see, these uncomfortable situations we find ourselves in can be a turning point more-so for us than for the individual that was involved in the situation. It’s all a matter of what we choose to take away from it. We can take away growth, self reflection, lessons, new habits and so on. Sometimes those situations can be the turning point of our life where we fight to be better and stronger people, because we don’t want to find ourselves in similar situations again. Not only that but become a better friend, co-worker, sister, daughter, girlfriend, wife etc. because of it.
As I am writing this, there are still some people I need to WISELY approach at the RIGHT TIME about how I feel. I say “wisely” because it depends on the level of pain that was caused and if you can bear it until the right opportunity comes up to talk about it. You don’t want to lash out due to the build up and you get nothing out of the conversation. You should gain something beneficial, edifying, or lessons through those hard conversations, especially the ones that will cause the most hurt. I’m not trying to tell you all not to “feel”, please do, don’t suppress it. It’s a matter of learning when to transition from being emotional, to asking God questions like: “What can I take away from this Lord?” or “What’s the lesson I’m suppose to learn?”. I believe this is a level of spiritual maturity and a beautiful level at that because the focus and outcome you desire has changed. Its not about seeing who’s right or wrong but what was God doing in that season.
There are two people in my life I have to talk to. I’m not gonna lie to y’all, I am nervous. However, I’m happy that I had the time to heal, pray and process everything. That’s why I can openly say this conversation is going to happen because my mindset is renewed and I will not allow the convo to be steered in a negative direction. If it does, I will take what I can from it. I have the choice to walk away with peace or fear, and I choose peace.
I pray that you are encouraged and pushed to communicate and not stifle your feelings. Depending on the level of weight that conversation may hold, I suggest you forgive, pray and heal. Then, you will gain the confidence you need to approach that individual. You’re in my prayers! Love you and God bless💕
My name is Raquel Meraki and I'm a young woman who is on the journey of self discovery and independence.