This question crossed my mind after I finished my 2nd interview with the job that just hired me, YAY! A few things happened to me internally and mentally in the past two weeks that made me ask myself that question.
First thing, I learned that I struggle with pride, selfishness, and lack of serving others. After learning that about myself, I went straight to my word (Bible) and found scriptures related to that so I can read it and cleanse my mind with it daily or as much as I can during the week. I didn’t maintain it as much as I should’ve and that slapped me in the face. My mom had a talk with me about that very things that I was already trying to fix and she didn’t even know. That’s how I knew I needed to be serious about making those changes in my life so she can see the changes in me. It was bitter sweet because I was reminded of my shortcomings and that’s not fun but, it pushed me even more to work on those areas.
Second, I am engaged! I can honestly and finally say that with confidence. Here’s the thing, I was scared and nervous because I was looking at my current situation and placing it in the future and that freaked me out. I’m a thinker so I’m always thinking FAR ahead and completely ignore the process of how to get there. I had to calm myself down every week and take it one day at a time and embrace it. This is a new level of womanhood that I’m stepping into and a lot of things are going to change that I have to prepare for. God has really shifted my way of thinking so far during this engagement process and He has helped me to be confident through it all. I use to worry A LOT and now I can take on this journey with confidence and with my Husband to be ️
Thirdly, I have friends! Haha, I know it sounds really sad but hear me out…
The church that I use to attend before I transitioned, I didn’t have much friends. I was seen as a leader and most of the friends I had were younger than me. Being a leader at church was not the issue, it just goes to show that it gets lonely at times. Once I transitioned from my home church, I slowly joined a new church and attended the meet and greet event they held. That’s where I met most of my friends and God started placing different women in my life from then on. I am so happy grateful for all them. As I’m getting older, I’m learning that every friendship has to be maintained and that means either calling, texting, emailing, hanging out, or setting dates to meet up. The intention has to be there. I’m thankful that God didn’t just send or place just anyone in my life, but friends that I needed and that are genuine.
Bracelets: Aldos Accessories
Earrings attached to pockets: Primark
Lastly, I’m finally walking in my purpose! After 3 years of tears, prayer, trying different things, failing at many and succeeding in some, I am excited to start something new that’s aligned with what God called me to do. You guys will soon find out and some of you will not be surprised…it was always there but needed sometime to uproot. Right now, I am trying to find space to rent to get started (hint ) and that seems to be the small trial. BUT, I’m not worried! Now that I know what my purpose is, it’s not going anywhere despite any minor setbacks. God is God y’all!
Heels: Charlotte Russe
Overall Dress: Primark
Body Suit: Primark
And that’s where the question resurfaces again, Is this really happening? The job, the marriage, friends and walking in my purpose? Yes it is! And this is not me boasting or showing off….that’s not me at all. But this is me sharing with you that I would not be the woman that I am now if I didn’t trust God in all those areas of my life and I'm still trusting. I had to start by being honest with myself and letting God have His way. I encourage you to do the same and you will begin to see the blessings and all the answered prayers unfold right before your eyes.
Much love and blessings!